SAY WHAT?!?

Cora announced while eating a fruit bowl the other day that she does not like to eat "antelope". We realized she meant cantaloupe.


Mason was chatting the other day and pointed to his ankles only he called them his "uncles".

Mason's favorite drink which he only gets when we go out to eat is "soder". He sounds like Mater on "Cars".

Choc-a-holic

My latest chocolate habit. This is a great product for me for a couple of reasons. First, all 4 kids hate the flavor. It is very bitter and not very sweet so it is all mine baby! Second, it breaks into large squares so I can "monitor" how much I eat. I'm only supposed to eat one square a day, but sometimes you just gotta eat more right? Third, you know dark chocolate is suppose to be healthy for us. I often grab a square of this with a handful of Brazil nuts (my favorite). If anyone wants to buy me a case of these chocolate bars I will not be offended. I think I'll try the 90% next just to see the difference in flavor. I really enjoy the bitter tartness of this chocolate. It has many more flavors than milk chocolate.

Future Diva

This would be hilarious if it wasn't my 6-year old actually sleeping like this. Can we say Future Diva of America?!

Familial Peace

Dearest Noel, Shay, Annette, & Paco:

I surrender. I have made the purchase. And it wasn't even painful. I am now the proud owner of the basic black reef flops. How does this apply to the 4 of you? Come on think now...At family gatherings there will be much more flowing of happy feelings. I no longer will "borrow" Shay's black reefs. I no longer will "steal" Noel's black reefs. I no longer will "confuse" Annette's black reefs for Shay's black reefs. And I definitely no longer will wear Paco's size 11 brown reefs.

Family gatherings here we come!

Be Very Afraid

This is the dinner of an 8-year old boy. I'll be picking up a job in a couple of years.

Not 1, but 2 cheeseburgers. Gross.

6 chicken nuggets

1 hard-boiled egg, with salt

1 whole PB&J

Mission Accomplished

Posting by Carlos

I've wanted to buy a Dodgers cap for the boys for some time. You know, to make sure that they don't drift to the dark side and become fans of some other team. I took them for haircuts a couple of weekends ago and decided that I would finally get them their caps. I surprised them after the haircuts and told them we would go get them some baseball caps...like mine. I was pleasantly surprised that they were pretty excited about it. We went to the mall, got them their caps and they wore them the entire weekend. It's been a couple of weeks and the novelty of the caps has not worn off.

The other day, the Dodgers were on TV and Cristian was pretty excited to see if they would win...I think I timed it perfectly.

Tri Training Update

I have been debating the past three days whether or not to post my stats online. Really, how ludicrous is this? I'm fat. Why am I concerned about what people think about my numbers? I think I have been more upset by the fact that I am debating about posting than the actual numbers themselves. Female-dom is silly on so many levels.

So once a month, I am having my body fat measured. I was so into this at our gym with this little electronic gadget that you hold. I've been doing it for a while when one of the trainers told me that you have to drink 2 liters of water and have no food in your system for an accurate reading. WHO drinks 2 liters of water before eating anything and then goes to work out? Does that make any sense?

So I still use the dumb device and just make sure that all the factors are the same for me when I use it. Whatever....

So 2.5 weeks ago I weighed in at 218.5 pounds with a body fat percentage of 40.6. I wish I could have taken a picture of the emaciated trainer testing me when she saw that number! She about burst a blood vessel. Regardless, I am most excited to see this number change. I initially lost 5 pounds the first week of training, but since have put that back on. It has to be muscle because I can feel new muscles esp. in my legs. I think my bf% will notice a good drop in 2 weeks when I retest.

Wish me luck!!

Bribery

Cristian came home with this rainbow certificate. I immediately emailed his teacher, Mrs. Land. I could see through her ploy.

Not only did he receive this gorgeous award (for reading) but she enticed him with $100 (fake money), a movie with popcorn with any friend of his choice (shown at school), and lunch with the teacher. Lunch with your teacher made me laugh. I guess only good students would find that appealing. To most, it would come off as more of a punishment.

Yeah, Mrs. Land was raising the stakes here. Seducing my child with currency and entertainment. What was her angle? Oh, I'll tell you her angle...She knew I was transferring the kids to another school. Mason's at one school with the older two at another. I vowed to have them all under one roof for the next school year.

Cristian's teacher finally called my bluff with a telephone call last week. She informed me that she was moving up to 3rd grade and she wanted Cristian in her class again. Goodness, the nerve right? She let me marinate in the offer over the weekend and then....BAM! Gifts and bribes pouring out of Cristian's backpack. I tell ya, she knows what she is doing.

Should I fall for her ploy or stick to my guns?

Tortilla Bat

Okay, not the best picture of Mace - he looks like we've drugged him. But look at this little edible artifact that he dug out with his teeth at the dinner table. I don't know why I am so consumed by finding life in our food, but what can I say? It is indeed a bat!

Ode to Annette

When it comes to sisters-by-law, I must admit, I've got some good ones. I mean I have really lucked out in the "by-law" category. I genuinely likie, and dare I profess, even love my brothers' wives and husband's sisters'. Wow.

But, we must pause on little Annette. The saint who committed her life to Brandon. (Come on Bran, you know I love you.) Miss Annette is a funny creature. She is very proper, semi-formal, polite, obeys etiquette, etc. You get the picture right? She is quite traditional and lovingly tied to her family. Oh, but she is a closet wild woman... This is what I most love about her. I guess because she IS so proper and polite that when she lets loose it's twice as entertaining.

She'll sporadically burst into song, do the Elaine from Seinfeld dance-slash-kick move, tackle a small child - usually male, or become quite loud and boisterous. She is a funny, funny chick.

She also has THE MOST AMAZING LEGS EVA!! Not like super model 6-foot long legs, no not those, because all of her is probably 5'2" on a good day. She has these ridiculously toned, perfectly shaped, shortish, smooth, tanned, flawless legs. I mean, they are amazing. She is a sex goddess with those bad boys. And then she has amazing blue eyeballs. They are very pretty which are only accentuated by her year-round dark skin. You'd think she tans regularly but Brandon would never permit that. I personally think she has some Indian blood in her or something. She's a dark Caucasian, that's all I'm saying.

She has blended beautifully into our crazy, large family. She has one other sibling. I often think of her during our Carter gatherings and watch her interact. How odd it must have been for her to gel those first few years with us. Huge Mormon family, wild boys, drama girls, running, yelling, organized chaos everywhere. I don't worry about her now. First off, we've worn her down through the years, she's immune to the insanity and more often than not, contributes to it now. And second, she has suffered, bled, celebrated, and cheered with us all through the years. She is so in the club.

You can send her a congratulatory or "with sympathy" card at your discretion.

Anyhow, the polish...Miss Annette is the one who got me hooked on OPI Nail Lacquer. Yeah, I only have five colors, but I am really low maintenance. Every time I spoil myself with a pedicure I tote along one of my colors and always think of Annette. Thanks girlie, you're a peach!!

For posterity's sake, here are the polish colors: Blonde Date, Chocolate Shake-Spear, Senorita Rose-alita (my current favorite), Opi Red (which looks really gross in this picture, but isn't in real life), and You ottaware Purple (which is NOT mine, I don't know where it came from). Mom??

The end.

SAY WHAT?!?

Cristian
July 2005
age 4

Mommie asked for a kiss and he replies:

"You have to get them inside of me. They are stuck. You better get some pliers to pull them out!"

SAY WHAT?!?

Cora
11/24/06
age 4

Carlos and I were cleaning up Thanksgiving dishes. We were drying a large stack of gold chargers that we'd eaten upon for the meal.

Cora innocently asks, "Daddy, are these the golden plates?"

Sprint Triathlon

Let it be known from the beginning that I believe running to be Satan's sport. I hate it on almost every level.

So here I am training for a sprint triathlon. Only a mere 3 miles are required to run (I think). I am figuring that I can run that amount. I did in high school for P.E. and despised it then too. Now before you think I am all amazing and super cool, let me say that this is a training program for fat people. It is an 8-month program and here I am in week 2. It is going very well. My workouts are different than what I am used too, but I was already working out longer than is requested on my training log. I will say my body is responding positively after only a week. It is very encouraging.

And now, what prompted such extreme measures? Why a triathlon? Do I realize how overweight I am? Am I crazy? Well, there were a lot of factors building to this decision. But the idea just popped into my head two weeks ago as I was driving. I thought I could manage the biking and swimming, just work really hard on the running.

I consulted with the fitness expert of the fam; a.k.a Noel. She told me about sprint triathlons which are super condensed which was perfect for little old me!!! Yeah!

Here are the reasons for me doing this little race:

1. Cora - I am forever being critiqued by this little girl. She says almost daily, "I just don't get it! You have such a long, skinny nose but so much extra skin on the rest of your body." Nice. Lovely ways of stating that I am fat.

2. Shay -I can hardly be offended but Shay managed it a couple of months ago. She seriously sent me a link to "The Biggest Loser" and begged me to apply. I know I am fat, but those people are just in a whole other fat category. Really Shay?

3. Carlos - he has subtly displayed skinny pictures of me in the house. Like it was a woman he use to know. Poor boy. A negative of getting skinny will be his sex drive. He has a high one as is, what is it going to be like when I'm hot?

4. Kara - this little cousin of mine just needs me to be skinny for her photog pleasure.

5. Mom - Last time I visited with mom she roped me into a contest of sorts. We knew we'd see each other at July 4th. So it is on, to see which one of us can loose 20 pounds by then.

6. Maya - my sister-in-law is a tiny little thing who decided this year was her year. She has attacked her weight loss with a vengeance. That's the only way she does anything, for those of you who don't know her. She has lost 10-12 pounds last I heard. Go Maya!!!

7. Mr. Cholesterol - yep, I'm high, like 213 or something. I've always been high even in the skinny era, but I'm getting older and my doctor threatened medication at my next physical. Really, do I need to be on one more medication? No thank you.

8. Mr. Diabetes - this little disease runs rampant in my family. I feel like a time-bomb about to detonate. With all this extra weight it is only a matter of time until it hits officially. I don't want that.

9. Cute clothes - fat people don't get cute clothes. And then if you do find something semi-cute you have to pay extra because it is a fat-mama size. Fortunately, I am still in extra larges, but the next size up is super fat-mama size and I am NOT going there. And I do actually have cute taste in clothes. You would never know that because I dress like a hag, but once I'm skinny I will be smok'n on all sorts of levels - clothing being one of them.

10. The Challenge - I want the challenge of training a long time for an end product. I think the triathlon will be so amazing to complete. It will be such a rewarding accomplishment. The discipline, sacrifice, work, routine will spill over into other facets of my daily life. It's all good.

Holy crap, wish me luck!

SAY WHAT?!?

Forget the fame...Mason and his cousin Ian were playing with the 24-pack of play dough this morning. They were making bats, worms, snakes - you know boy stuff. I was listening to them create as I did the dishes.

I suddenly asked Mason, "So you do want to be a super hero when you grow up?"

He replied immediately, "No! I want to be a Daddy like my Dad."

Someone must have an amazing role model and mentor to push aside the super hero fantasy. We all know Carlos fits the bill perfectly!

The Door to FlooterVill

Written by Cristian Cruz
March 12,2009

Once there were two friends and their names were Spound and Vicsor. They have always dreamed of a magical world. One day they both went to their grama's house. They went to go look around, they found a old door. Hmmmmmmm, said Vicsor. Looks old, said Spound. Vicsor looked inside, he said Spound come look at this. Spound gasped, what now. Whoe! They both said in excitement. They went inside of the old door. They saw a unusul looking rakoon. Help it yelled! Spound and Vicsor were shocked! The rakoon stopped, oh my! He skreached. How did you get here? There was dead silance for about twenty sekonds. Then Vicsor said, what? You herd me, said the rakoon. A d-d-door, Spound mumbled. My name is Bree, I was going to get some grapes from a tree and there were no grapes! I was storing for Winter too! Without food I'll starve to death. So where is the food? How am I sopost to know where it is, asked Bree. Well I didn't see the stream I would useuly pass by. Well maybe you just went the rong way. No, I wouldn't go the rong way I've been doing this for about four almost five years now! You have to get confused here and there said Spound. Well I sopose...maybe I went the rong way just this one time in my life, mumbled Bree. So they went the Right way Bree found his grapes and he thanked them the two boys said, bye to Bree. But they wondered if there were more talking animals on the island of FlooterVill. The two boys went home telling their familys all about their weird advenure.

**Mommie Note: I love his spelling and grammatical attempts with conversations. He is such a sweet boy. And just how similar is this story to "The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe?"

SAY WHAT?!?

Carlos had surgery last week to repair a torn ACL. I wish I could have been in the recovery room with him - these would be such fun times to see him remotely out of control. He is never out of control.

I did finally get to see him. The nurse came out to get me. He refused to let her dress him and kept asking for me. (Sweet right?)

I accomplished my task and set about preparing him for the stroll down to the car. He was a little buzzed as he said, "You are a good wife to me, no matter what they say about you."

Yeah, baby that's the morphine talking!

Super Heroes Come Visiting

This afternoon I have been graced with the presence of the local superheros of Cedar Park. Mason and Perry have magically disappeared only to be replaced with Iron Man & Power Girl. Power Girl wears a Crayola pack back that spits out fire while Iron Man dons a navy cape. Evidently, there was a small crocodile under our entertainment center, but Iron Man stealthily took care of the problem. Our purple coffee table serves as Power Girl's bed space; Iron Man sleeps behind my hope chest. They really are such lovely visitors.

I saw traces of my toddler children in them as they began discussing their nipples. Our heroes were in a quandary and asked for my advice.

"Mom is 'nipples' a bad word to say?"

I replied in the negative, it was just a word that describes a part of your body like your 'elbow'.

Power Girl then went to to say that 'boobies' WAS a bad word, but not 'nipples'.

I gave up. I obviously don't have super powers like they possess.

They went on their merry way, but the topic wasn't over. Iron Man stressed the fact that his nipples were much bigger than Power Girl's. He even went so far as to "nurse" their kitten-pet.

I LOVE to witness these crazy imaginations in motion. It's material that I could never generate on my own!!! Parenthood is fun.