bleeding

CPS informed us today that our little sweet Hayden is being taken from us tomorrow. He is being placed in another foster home in Houston so he can be near his biological mother. People always ask me how we can do foster care. This moment in time is the reason why so many people veer away from it.

I'm not going to lying to you. This always hurts. You feel torn, hurt, rejected, dejected, angry, sad, hopeful, grief - you feel it all. Hayden has been extra special to our whole family. I don't know the reason why he has except that he is just an amazingly special child.

But what endears me to the human spirit is our ability to regenerate ourselves. A piece of my heart is being ripped out. I'll miss and worry over Hayden for a good while. A then another sweet little spirit will be dropped off on our doorstep. And we will pour all our love and efforts into that child. Because I have learned something these past few years fostering...

It's not about me.

Yes, I hurt and ache. I want Hayden to stay here. We all want him officially adopted into our family. But there are many things we have no control over. And while Hayden, or Jose, or Miguel, or Naila, or Sara, or Christavia, or Evie, or Lily, or Gary, or Natalie, or Terence, or Perry, or Mace are with us they are loved. It's not about me. It's all about them.

We love you Hayden. You'll always be our pickle.