current obsessions

there are a few things that occupy my thoughts this summer. or maybe a few things i am just loving this summer. here goes the nonsensical list:

1. hayden - slathering him with kisses, ogling over his every achievement. like i'm a first-time mom or something.

2. my kids' armpits - i know, totally bizarre, but i love rubbing their soft, little armpits. i'll plop down next to any one of them and say, "pits!" and they know to raise their arms in pointless humiliation. tank tops make them even more irresistible.

3. quilting - i am thinking/dreaming about this a ton. i am doing none of it though. i can't seem to find time and space to do it. and i am NO GOOD after 8 p.m. the lazy gene kicks in and i just want to veg in front of the tele.

4. italian chicken/orzo soup - the recipe will be forthcoming, but i am addicted to this soup right now. i have been making it every week for about 5 weeks. even ALL the kids like it. it is hearty but low-fat. amazing.

5. crest scope outlast - magic -freakin' toothpaste. my mom introduced this to me. for reals, no joke your mouth is minty and fresh for at least 30 minutes after you brush. i've never had a paste do that. it isn't approved by the ADA so i might die in 3 years from its use. i'm taking the gamble.

6. highly chlorinated water - our usual summer staple: the pool. we are there everyday, well 5 days a week. my babies are black, with exception of cora and hayden. i love to my kids happy and active. they adore swimming.

7. craig's list - um, i am having an affair. i can admit that openly now. i could be on craigs list 2 hours a day if i felt totally entitled. the disease has progressed, i've branched out into other cities besides my own. i am often tempted to "see" what for sale across the country. sick, i know.

8. pill popping - this isn't something i want to deal with, but it's become a very real part of each and every day. i think i'm up to 31 pills a day now. i will say i no longer have headaches. i guess amino acids do have their place in this world.

all in the family

I love this drawing that Cora did. It tells me that she too feels whoever is in our home with us IS our family. I love the fact that there are 2 people represented here that aren't a part of our nuclear family but still considered as such. In these moments I am so proud of these kids we are raising & of me for being a rock star of a mom. Welcome to the fam Noel & Hayden!!!

canned nastiness

Wulf & Luli invited us to float the river a couple of weeks ago. It was wonderfully refreshing. The kids had a blast. The water was gorgeously blue-green. Divine.

I didn't want to do "meals" so we dropped fifty bones at the store on the way there on a bunch are garbage. Sometimes it is delightfully fun to do that.

We scattered through the cracker aisle with little hands grabbing and pleading right and left. I knew what I wanted though. Nothing says "floating-down-the-river-with-a-bunch-of-drunk-college-students" like Easy Cheese. I knew the moment my kids tasted the forbidden product that they'd become addicted. I tossed it in the shopping cart as Carlos starred at me wide-eyed.

As predicted, the nasty cheese product was a huge hit. The kids couldn't get enough of it. I finally put a halt on its consumption. Mean mommie!

But then I got mischievous.

We were on to Oreo's by then. Wulf was talking incessantly like he usually is. We were all listening intently because let's face it, he tells a good story. I'm handing out the cookies. I have Carlos twist the top off a cookie. I dab a squirt of easy cheese inside the filling & plop the top back on the cookie. Carlos hands it to Wulf.

Gulp. Gone. Gross.

He doesn't even notice. Carlos & I are laughing like naughty school kids.

Much later we are swimming at a pool. We are all tuckered out. The kids have dragged their exhausted, happy, but hungry bodies out of the water and want food. Wulf has fallen asleep on a picnic bench (as only males can). He's stretched out, bare-chested, almost snoring.

Then I got mischievous, again.

Out comes the spray cheese. I'm laughing just thinking about what I want done. I lean over to my partner (in crime) and tell him to spray some cheese in Wulf's belly button. Carlos laughs and whispers there's no way he's doing that. He and I are both silently laughing.

In steps Luli, "I'll do it." She grabs the can and sprays a generous portion of florescent orange in his hairy little naval. We start laughing out loud as Wulf swipes at his stomach thinking it a bug. In the process his hand becomes cheesed. He opens his eyes and looks at his hand. His look was SO worth it.

He's amused and grumbling about our prank. I'm almost peeing my pants. The kids are excited and laughing every which way you look. And that's when Kaira walks up to her daddy and digs out a chunk of bellybutton cheese and eats it.

Double nasty.

SAY WHAT?!?

I was fixing a shelf in Cristian's room and Mason was the one observer in the room. As I took the shelf down, Mason noticed that Cristian had put a small portrayal of Jesus hanging on a cross on the side of his shelf. And the following conversation ensued.

Mason: Dad, can I get a picture of a dead Jesus on my shelf too?

Dad: Mason, how about we put a picture of a live Jesus on your shelf?

Mason: Okay...pause...What about if we put picture of a live Jesus and a dead Jesus on my shelf?

evil little me

just got off the phone with hayden's cps worker. i asked how his mom was doing. was she anxious and missing him terribly. we've had him a month now. he has grown 2 new teeth, started crawling and sitting up, and eats his solids like a pro now.

the worker said mom is very anxious and is doing everything she can to get him back. this is where evil steps in. not the answer i wanted to hear. i'd like to hear that she's taken off and can't be found. that's a really good sign. not that she is ready to work her services. but, come on the point is to have her reunited with her son after she has made permanant life changes.

i just really want her to fail. so i can adopt her child.

honesty is great thing, but it usually makes me just come off creepy.

On Pessimism

Thought I'd give you a synopsis of the Cruz marriage. I suppose it is one of the reasons we work well together. Good and bad to both personalities.

Anywho...I had a friend ask me to watch her kids yesterday. Well, only four of her six kids...I was glad to do it because I really like her kids. I mean I really do like her children, they are sweet and hilarious. And then it was one of those situations that I get myself into WAY too often when I actually think after I've committed.

Why did I agree to have 9 children under the age of 10 for 8 hours?! Am I totally moronic? So, I set up all the scenarios of how awful and stressful this day is going to be - hence the title. Mason won't have anyone to play with and will whine all day, Cristian and the boys will run wild in the house & be stinky, Cora will be emotionally devastated because they're aren't any girls her age, Perry will boss the babies around and drive me nuts, etc.

And then the day happens...Shane & Logan are ridiculously helpful with polished manner's to boot, Josh ignores me all day BUT adores Hayden all day, Perry & Abby play along blissfully well, Cora & Logan play a few games together, Shane talks Cristian's ears off, some lame Godzilla movie entertains all 19 kids for 80 minutes, they all love my lunch, no one drowns in the pool nor pees in it, Hayden sleeps well, the bottom 4 play trains for an hour while I make dinner, and Bug, Shane, and Logan tear apart Cristian's room.

It was a perfect day.

Now I'm not say'n pessimism is where it's at, but when you assume the worst and life doesn't come close to it - well, then you start look'n at the flip side....which is called optimism.

b.e.s.t.i.e.s.

bella has several best friends and i imagine she always will.

i took hayden, mace, and bella out on a walk this evening and i suggested we stop by and pick up madison.

maddy has been in her class this year at school. i think i like her very much. she is a sweet, smiley girl. fair haired, fair skinned with a large circular face. she has been good to cora and that goes a long way with me.

so we pick her up and proceed on our twenty minute jaunt. i'm yaking with mace and pushing the stroller. the girls are pleasantly talking with one another. i look back and see them arm in arm walking.

it was so jane austen to me. they needed parasols and stuffy, feminine dresses to make it complete. every time they'd separate for one reason or another, they'd re lock their arms and continue walking. shouldn't we all have such lovely friendships?

New Me

So this is my new church calling - the mighty Webelos Den Leader. The church's version of this position is way more lax than if you joined a community troop. That has its advantages and disadvantages. However, I am loving this calling so far.

Cristian will move into my class or den in September when he turns 10. For now, I have three of his best friends who I adore. The den is loud, wild, and sweet. They are darling boys. I am loving teaching a short lesson on some life skill. That is so up my ally it is ridiculous. Plus, I just got an assistant that I am excited to be working with. She is creative and not a slacker. We should be a good little team.

Um, do I look good in yellow and blue?

Biding my time...

So this was the conversation today...

Me: "Noelie is going to a dance tonight."

Perry: "Noel is getting married today?!"

Multiply that kind of conversation by 50 and you'll have any day with Perry. By 11 a.m. I am ready to kick it up to death mode.

I am really hoping this is a 4 year-old thing because I don't have the patience for it all.