"Secret" Weapon

Here I am worrying about Cora while she is away at school. THIS is so not my style. My little girl is turning more and more into a big girl at rapid intervals. She has the mannerisms of a girl beyond her years, the eye-roll of a teen, correct use of "mother-ese" with her sister, the swinging moods of p.m.s. Whatever am I going to do?

Add to that the sweet sensitivity given to her by her father.

Everyday this week I am met with a few tears, worried looks, and the statement, "I am feeling nervous about school." This is so atypical for my Cora. She is a social butterfly, the outgoing, bubbly/bossy leader. What's the deal?

She is nervous about "the secret." The secret she told a friend in kinder. And then the friend blabbed it. I thought is was a great lesson for her in friendships and gossip. But here it is biting us in the tush 5 months later. This same little girl is in her class again this year. Cora's fear is that her secret will be spread through her class. She is nervous about the impending, looming, all-consuming embarrassment that will ensue.

Morning and night she and I have discussed it this week. She has led me into a closet to talk, forced me to whisper behind closed doors, and silenced me when I used names. This is such a big deal to her. We've talked about all the possible scenarios of the "secret" coming to light. And I finally ended with the reality that it could all come out and it would indeed be embarrassing.

Life is full of embarrassing moments, awkward feelings. She wasn't satisfied.

I've done all I can do. I'll keep talking her off her emotional ledge, but we've covered it all several times.

So I'm left worrying about my little delicate tornado. And all that is left to do is use my secret weapon. I can't be there to coddle her through every life bump. So I pray her.

I pray that she is happy and safe. I pray that she and her friend get along swimmingly today. I pray that the little girl forgets Cora's secret. I pray that she is all smiles when I pick her up. I pray that when embarrassment happens she is stronger for it.

Little does she know that her trial is teaching her to be a stronger girl and me a more faithful mom.