feminine charms

so i am seeing my crazy which doctor. she and i have several goals we are working towards. most of them i agree with except becoming a vegan like her. no thanks. we are weaning me off my antidepressant. we are bringing hormone levels within normal ranges...

well, over the past several months we have worked on raising my serotonin level. mission accomplished. her favorite phrase to tell me with every conversation is this, "90% of the serotonin in your body is found in your digestive tract." i've come to accept this as a fact, even though i haven't done an ounce of research to prove it.

so serotonin is good now. we must now work on dopamine. we switch pills around, eliminate some, add others - poof! a whole new cocktail is born. so i start this and about day 2 diarrhea hits. um, this poop condition rarely hits me. i'm always way on the other side of the poop spectrum. so i think i've caught a bug. by day 3 i realize it's my new cocktail. and then my boobs hurt tremendously.

i call the witch doctor. she tells me this is a side effect of coming off the antidepressant and my new meds. then i get the monthly visit. and this month happens to be gory.

so we go out to dinner tonight. my boobs hurt, i'm crampy, bloated, my intestines are twisting themselves in knots. basically from the belly button to my upper thighs...waging war on my body. it wasn't pretty.

we are wrapping up dinner at the restaurant when my intestines signal their hello. um, know this - i DON'T poop in public bathrooms. i poop in the great outdoors before i use a nasty public toilet "cleaned" by an ex-con with hepatitis. so my drive home is painful. i'm sweating from sheer will and concentration. we get home, the urge has momentarily subsided. i'm bringing stuff in from the car. all the kids have disappeared (not unusual).

and then....it hits. the urge is back. it's that way because your body knows you are home. in your own personal safe haven, my clean throne, toilet paper that i like, perfect ambiance, etc. i go the guest bathroom - taken, by mason. i head to my bathroom where i hear the shower running. taken, by cora. oh well, she'll have to bathe in my stinkiness - she does it to me at least once a week. i enter - she is pooping on my toilet. i briskly walk to the kid bathroom. the door is locked. i pound on it. cristian responds. what are you doing i yell? i need the bathroom NOW! he's pooping. oh my gosh, it's getting really bad. i start to panic. i gingerly descend the stairs. one false step and it could all be over. i pound on the guest bathroom. mason, what are you doing? are you pooping?! of course he is! oh my helena! i am writhing in pain and determination. my intestines are going to burst. my uterus is screaming in twisting agony. WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO POOH AT THE SAME TIME!! Carlos is laughing almost hysterically the whole time. i feel like squatting on his side of the bed and letting go. not. nice. hubby.

needless to say, sweet mason did his business as fast as he could. he even washed his hands in the kitchen to streamline his time.

i. about. died.

4th Time Charm?

Today was the first day of the school year. To say that I was giddy would be putting it mildly. Even though I had Perry and foster baby Ty for most of the day I was pumped!! I was actually yelling in glee at Carlos. He chuckled and reminded me to take it easy or I might make myself pee. That's love for ya.

First item of business... take Pear to the doctor to get one shot. Her school starts at noon so we were making good time. We wait, get 3 shots because I failed to take her to her 4 year physical (nice) and zip off to school. I head to the nurse's office, proudly hand her our shot record, & wait for school to begin. The nurse returns 10 minutes later to tell me that we missed the ONE shot we went to the doctor for in the first place. I smiled sweetly. Which is freak'n amazing because I'm on my period AND I've decreased my antidepressant all in one week. Insane combination as poor Carlos has been the brunt off. Oh yeah, and we are taking shifts all night with the newborn. I think I'm handling it fairly well.

So my poor Pear-Pear. She was such a trooper with her 3 shots. She didn't cry. I even suggested she not look while she was punctured but she stared at each needle and said, "I'm doing really good to not move!" Of course she didn't cry, she is my toughest child. But then I had to tell her this afternoon that we have to go back to the doctor again tomorrow to get one more shot.

She was so darling this afternoon when I picked her up from school. Her face was all lit up, sweaty but lit up. She climbed into the car all excited to be with us and tell us her events. She said, "I was a really good girl at school today and had fun, but then my legs started to hurt."

I gave her the largest dose of Motrin that I could. My poor little darl'n.

Here we go for round two tomorrow!

My husband has lost his intellectual edge as of late. He's becoming forgetful, absent-minded, oblivious. How does this relate to the wood filler you ask? Well, it's like this. We are currently doing some projects around the house. This has placed Carlos at Home Depot several times. His visits have resulted in 3 individual purchases of wood fillers. At least he has a permanent affinity to Elmer's products each time. Alzheimer's here we come.

Noel's first piece of furniture. Thank you Craig's List.

love note

sometimes i leave little love notes for carlos in his car. i find this one particularly sentimental, don't you?

on bella

can i just say that i am really enjoying bella these days. she has hit this phase of development that has made me stop and realize i am not raising a child, i am raising a person. i know that's not so profound but it is for me. she has such adult mannerisms, opinions, likes, & thoughts that make her so individualistic to me. all my kids are this way of course, but cora is like her auntie shay. always ahead of the game, a quick learner, a marrow sucker, she wants it all and she wants to experience it now.

my favorites with her right now are how feminine she is. she has this girl thang down! mason has been on this "manly, man" kick as of late. he'll point out what a manly man would or wouldn't do. you know, testocerone at its finest type stuff. he pointed something out that cora did and told her that's how a manly man would do it. she replied, "but i don't want to be a manly man, i want to be a womanly woman." that would be cora. she loves to color coordinate her outfits, she loves to accessories with bows, jewelry, and purses. she is a shoe pig. she has the most shoes in the family and she always wants more. she has this pout that she's recently developed and she uses it in perfect female cue for maximum results. she'll turn her thin little lips into a tight heart-shaped pout. i've told her boyfriends and husband will be powerless to it. it works great on daddy.

she is fun, sassy, sweet, sensitive, pouty, dramatic - all things girl. oh, how i love her.

the erekson

a quilt that i began at least a year ago. yikes & ridiculousness. it has a nice swirl pattern to it, pretty traditional. i enjoy the color combination with this one. i saw this pattern in a quilt shop and really liked it. it is simple, clean, boldish. i'm sure i'll do this pattern again.
here she is all laid out. this is a thank-you of sorts to mike and sharon. they so very generously G-A-V-E us an office furniture set when they got new furniture. they are glorious peeps.

dearest husband,

thank you for introducing me to your fat-boys. i had no idea that they even existed let alone fit me. you are truly kind to share with your super-sized wife. you do know that i will be forever "borrowing" them now right?

kisses,

tu vida

the owen

welcome to white trash quilting folks! i am doing a couple of these to just get a few quilts checked off my mental list. i really am such a ridiculous procrastinator. this is for my nephew, now age 3. it is bright and crazy - perfect for a toddler.

this is the back side of the blanket. it is fabric that i bought foreva ago at ikea to make curtains and pillows. another project never gotten too. what's that saying, "the pathway to hell is paved with what...?"

if you look carefully you can see the quilt pattern. i had it done in elephants. too cute in my mere opinion. i hope my nephew enjoys cuddling with this blanket. it was made with love, albeit white-trash love!

the sleep diva

really? how cute is my daughter with her sunglasses dangling off her nose? she fell asleep on the long drive home from arkansas & was too cute to pass up. these are by far my favorite pair of glasses she's ever owned. soooo sassy!