Cruz Chatter: January 2011

Tuesday, January 4

Tender Mercies

Mason and I were talking about "mommie Ana" the other day. I make it a point to bring her up quite often to him. He remembers quite a bit of life with her and I feel that a lot of his feelings about himself have resulted from his time with her. I want normalize his life as much as possible and let him know that he can talk to us about anything in regards to her, us, adoption, etc.

I was commenting on how gorgeous of a child I think he is. I pointed out that his gets his hair and eye color from Ana. He looked at me aburptly and said, "No, I don't." I told him that he does. He has lighter skin like her and gorgeous brown eyes and hair like her. He denied it again with just as much fervor.

I asked if he remembered what Ana looked liked. And he replied, "Yes, she had yellow hair but I don't have yellow hair like her." I asked what color her eyes were. "They are blue like yours mom."

I was stunned. My first thought was, "Oh my gosh, I need to get a picture of Ana. He is forgetting what she looks like. He can't forget where he has come from!"

And then I was like, "Wait a minute. He thinks I am his mom. He is remembering only me as the face, the hair, the eyes that have loved him." Call me selfish (because I am VERY selfish, a lot) but for now, I am going to just marinate in the sweetness that I am his pulse to his world.

Thank you Macey-baby. I LOVE being your mommie, forever.

meeting cyrus

oops, we did it again! this fostering thing is a great system of supply & demand. so... meet cyrus. he is 8 months old and is gradually adjusting to our family. you can't really tell but, he's a quarter african-american and the rest hispanic.

he's nice and chubby - just how jen likes 'em. we got a call sunday afternoon after having him for only 2 weeks and guess what? his mother signed away her parental rights making him available for adoption! how cow, an adoption dream.

carlos and i are teetering right now. i guess its all happened so fast and we want to make sure that this is the right choice for every person involved in our home and family. we'll definitely keep you all posted.

once again though i am amazed, humbled, and grateful for this institution of adoption. i just don't know how to articulate how wonderful and amazing it is. having carried and birthed children of my own and then adopting pear and mace there are definite differences (mostly stretch marks) but in some ways adoption is more magical and precious to me. i guess because i am being given another person's child. ever so humbling and the ultimate gift ever. hopefully i'll be able to articulate how i feel about it all some day. but honestly, i really think every decent, married couple should adopt. it is just magical.

Saturday, January 1

account-a-cute-a-bee

Cora had dish duty and didn't know where the mixing bowl went. I'm loving her note to dad!

this little cutie had left the vance home after a year with them in foster care. little desi is a pistol and a half. she was such a joy to be around. i know she won't stay with her parents permanently. she'll be bounced around again. it's a very imperfect system but she was loved and safe for a whole year of her life. and that was a blessing.

candy cane lane

so i've got this friend...we'll call her diane carpenter to protect her identity. she and i have a mutual friend who we'll call amy lewis. i stopped by amy's house one day in december and noticed her driveway cutely decorated with candy canes. my eyes followed the festive line of red and white and then stopped. the last 3 candy canes were totally destroyed. the line was ruined. pieces of plastic and wood were scattered about. i asked amy, "what the *h* amy?!" she sweetly told me that diane ran them over the other day with her car. i saw an opportunity folks. so i snipped off the killed canes, boxed them up all purdy-like, and gave the gift to diane stating that it "was from my heart".