the even dozen

can it be babe? we just celebrated our twelfth anniversary? dang, we getting old! let it be known that we went very low key this year. every year we talk about getting away, just the 2 of us...hasn't happened yet. maybe we are saving it for the 25th? i did quite enjoy our indian meal at the clay pit and out decadent cupcakes afterwards.

but this milestone leaves me thinking about us again. and i am amazed and grateful. i think it rare these days that people stay married for the long haul. many people do stay married, albeit, unhappily. i think of what could be wrong in our marriage and isn't. i am grateful that i still love you and you love me. but mostly i am grateful that i still really, truly like you.

someday these four little heartbeats are going to leave our nest. and while they occupy eighty percent of our conversations right now i'm not afraid of being alone with you in an empty house. because i still really, really like who you are.

i'm not a fool babe. i know this marriage works solely because of you. you give and compromise and look the other way out of kindness and love everyday. i've got my good points and strengths, but you hold us steady. and for that i am so grateful.

oh, and thanks for simply laughing at me when i asked you how much you are worth dead to me. it was really asked in love, but you already know that right?

i love you paco...here's to 80 more years together....

tu vida

Open your Mouth

This is Joseph. I know, right? Basically I told his foster mom that she wasn't getting him back. He is the most delightful, happy child. We got to watch him for a few hours this weekend while his foster parents went to a training class.

I decided to run to CostCo so I took him and Mace. They were both darling the whole time. I mean, come on, free samples every 3 minutes soothe any child into retail submission. So CostCo was crazy busy, as it always is, and I stopped a moment in an aisle and slathered this gem of a child with kisses.

About five minutes later we were standing in front of Beverly. She was a spunky African-American woman handing out samples of red velvet cake. I know, right? She abruptly asks me, "Is this your child?" She was kind of abrasive so my first thought was, "Crap, this is his biological grandma or something. Here comes an ugly throw down."

I looked really confused because Mason is my child, Joseph isn't but when I have a foster child I consider them "mine" for all intense purposes. So, I'm thinking all this and she asks, "Is he yours or are you fostering him?"

I tell her I am fostering him.

And then the floodgates open..."Well, I just want to thank you for what you are doing. Because this is not my child but he is my race. And somebody needs to take care of this child and I thank you for doing it. I saw you over there kissing on him and I just want to thank you."

I actually got a little teary as I thanked her and told her it was our pleasure to do what we do. I moved on behind her so she could continue handing out her samples while I fed the boys.

About 45 seconds later she stopped serving people (and there was a long line, remember it's red velvet...) and turned around to face me with her cakey knife in her hand...

"I mean I just really appreciate you and I just want to thank you and praise you for what you are doing. Somebody needs to take care of these children!"

She was so gracious. I thanked her again for her kindness. We now had an audience of about 10 people listening to all this. I was getting embarrassed.

But I will say this. Parenting is often a thankless job. There are definitely rewarding moments, it seems they are often life events. It was wonderful to hear from a stranger their gratitude for what Carlos and I do. When you parent your own children you ARE great. But, for me, parenting a stranger's child feels very divine. It really feels like God's work... to love and care for a stranger I suppose. I know I need to feel this way about my own children too because they are all the same.

I was on cloud nine though because little miss Beverly opened her mouth to a stranger simply to say "thank you for you". It was something so small and simple but it cheered me through and through.

this face

the face of this child just melts me. little mace is our texas tornado. he is always deliroulsy happy or painfully moody. along with this face comes a wonderful mind and imagination...

because i'm not sure how he came up with the "gloved angel" but it works for him. he really enjoys playing make-believe games and dressing up with his sisters. i suppose i need to purchase some more manly garb since spider-man is no longer with us.

look at that begging, pleading little face. just love his alomond eyes, gorilla nose, and teenie-tiny teeth. he is my favorite little mace. i love you little man.

kitchen rock

Mace & Cora
Paisley Bear

Pear-Pear

Kavers & Mace

I believe the kids were rockin' out to Lady Gaga's Poker Face in the kitchen. They were so funny. Kavi and Mace loved doing the robot, Paisley basically just shook her tush the whole time, Cora gave it all she's worth, & Miss Perry just loves music period. I think we played the song 3 or 4 times. Lady Gaga is one nasty chica but she's got some good music. I love having all the cousins play together.

creative dress-up?

Perry had to dig this bad boy out of the garage. As you can see I let her dress herself and then she strutted around the house for an hour or so in her swim vest. I really do admire kids inhibitions. No self-consciousness here. Isn't she darling?

baby steps or giant leap?

A couple of months ago I started talking with Cristian about sharing his testimony at church in front of the whole congregation. I know how to set him up for success (he's a real easy sell most of the time) so I began real gradual.

I laid out the end result first. I thought he was old enough to share his beliefs about our church. This was pretty daunting for him. I have several friends that still as adults are unable to do this due to anxiety and fear of public speaking. I want all my children to feel at least semi-comfortable speaking to groups so this was the ideal venue.

We got out his journal. I asked him what he thought his religious testimony was. He gave me his ideas and I jotted them down in his journal. We then went to the dictionary and looked up 'testimony'. We simplified the definition, talked about its meaning, and wrote it down in his journal. From there, I asked, "So what do YOU believe or know to be true about our religion?" He immediately rattled off these 4 things: 1) families can be together forever, 2) Jesus will someday come back to earth, 3) Joseph Smith restored the Book of Mormon and the church, 4) I love my family to the furthest galaxy and back.

Be.Still.My.Melting.Teary.Overflowing.Heart.
Darling, right?!

I told him that was perfect. That was all he needed to say if that's all he had to say. He was surprised, he thought it had to be a lot longer. We wrote it out on an index card and tucked it away.

Every week I would remind him of the countdown until he would be able to speak in church. He seemed chill. The day of, I had him practice reading his card three times. I told him to speak loud and clearly (he mumbles a ton).

At church he went up to the stand, took his seat, and waited. He got to his turn and beautifully read his four sweet lines and closed his testimony. He did a fantastic job. I was so vastly proud of him. He is such a superstar!

His actions inspired little Miss Cora. This past Sunday was a month after Bug's testimony. Cora whispered into her daddy's ear and they both walked to the front of the chapel. Carlos gave his testimony and sat down. Cora bravely took to the podium and said two things. They were that she loves her family and that she knows our church to be true.

It amazed me how calm, confidant, and assured she was. Cora has always been our sugar and spice, our yin and yang, our salty and sweet. This year has been very emotional for her. She is often very sensitive. She's been easily hurt. Daily come home drawings and letters of love for family members. This year has been her sensitive, shy self taking force. I was blown away at her assertiveness to get up in front of all those people - like 150 people.

A month ago I gave my testimony (same day as Bug). When I sat down Cora handed me a note that she had just written. It said, "That was sweet. Thanks Mom. Love Cora"

Be.Still.My.Melting.Teary.Overflowing.Heart
What freak'n amazing, wonderful kids I have! I adore them to pieces!!

cheap thrills

i
spy
a

broken
pinata



Happy 4th birthday baby girl!

the mossy "c"

if you are ever bored and want a cheap, easy, white-trash project to make you feel talented...then keep reading. again, i have no original creative thoughts - this was totally snatched from another bloggie. i simply wrapped the letter with floral tape to cover all the sides with green and then glue-gunned the reindeer moss to the wood.

tah-dah. i am quite pleased with it. it only took about ten minutes to do, and only two of my fingers were burned in the process. i loathe those glue guns. p.s. i purchased the frame for two dolla at the thrift store. can i hear an "amen"?!

Oh Happy Day!!!!!!!!

Happy birthday Dr. Seuss! Mason is in L-U-R-V-E with Dr. Seuss at the present moment. He had me read him Green Eggs & Ham before bedtime last night. I reminded him it was the doctor's birthday tomorrow. I promptly sent my "good man" out for ham after the kids were tucked away for the night. This morning, I colored the eggs and Paco tinted the cream cheese. The 3 older kids were pleasantly surprised with their breakfast. Mace was grinning from ear to ear, but asked me why the ham wasn't green too. (I've no idea how to color that product. Any suggestions?)

Happy birthday to a fellow of great rhyme and bizarre characters!!

Face Lift

My first project redo. I bought this footstool at a thrift store for $5. We didn't need a stool but I could see its potential and needed a "first" project. It was covered in ugly upholstery fabric.

Only to discover the original fabric underneath it. It really looks like a granny stool with the flowers and basic wood. Fortunately, the crackle finish was pretty easy to strip away too.

The finished product...I painted her black and recovered her in a funky green print that I quite like. Even Shay was mildly impressed with my redo skills. The kids like using the stool to reach their CD's for the tele. Simple pleasures right?

My Inspiration

I bought this sweet little vase at a thrift store a couple of months ago. I love the shape of the vase and it's oriental crane and designs drew me to it. It has sat on my window sill in the kitchen so I look at it day in and day out. It's soft blue color has inspired me to use it on a piece of furniture. Martha Stewart (goodness, I despise her) had a color similar to the vase. The project is halfway complete and I love the results so far.

I'll keep you posted!

I happened to be up in Cristian's bunk bed this evening due to his complaint of it smelling like poop (thank you very much Kavi) when I witnessed the cutest spectacle ever.

It was 8 pm. I was tuckered out, Paco was at church which equalled ghetto parenting skills. I lay down on the mattress and started telling the kids step by step what to do to ready themselves for bed. I am so glad because this paid off tonight.

Cristian got distracted at the half naked point in jammie dressing. He started moving all around on the floor below. I didn't pay much attention to him (obviously) because barking orders to the girls in the other room takes focus. He kept moving all around when I finally "watched" what he was doing.

He methodically did two jumping jacks then dropped to the floor for a push-up. He hopped back up for a jump, then down for a push-up. Over and over he did this. I thought it was so cute. I was grateful for the bed railing that covered my smiling mouth. I nonchalantly asked if he was doing his exercises. He replied in the affirmative. Did he do those in p.e. at school? Yes. He keeps up this routine at a quick pace for several more minutes.

Mason steps into the picture. He is dressed in his jammies but asks if he can take off his shirt like Cristian. Sure, why not? So now Mason starts dancing around. He does this snake like thing with his arms, it reminds me of ocean waves. His little body is hopping around like popcorn pieces. These two boys are spazzing all around their bedroom floor, panting and contorting their bodies. Mason quickly falls into Cristian's routine. Two jumps and then down on the floor for a push-up. He does this for about 7 seconds and pops up. He puffs out his stomach resembling an Ethiopian child and asks Cristian, "How is my six-pack now?"

Cristian stops his routine, gets down on his knees in front of Mace, places his forefinger on his bellybutton, and moves up his tummy with his eyes. The verdict? "It's small, but it is definitely getting there!"

Cristian worked out about another five minutes. I was impressed with his stamina and motivation.

The best part of this bird's eye view was just how serious these two were about their workout and six-pack growths. My little boys are turning into little men one day at a time. Too cute!

Pillow Talk

Cristian is in a mommie phase as of late. And I am 1) loving it and 2) milking it for all it's worth. So one of my perks is having Bug snuggle me in bed at night. I love this just about more than anything.

So last night we are snuggling in bed. Me with my solitaire and he with his DS.

I randomly asked if he knew he had a great life.

"Yes," he said without missing a beat.

"What makes it great?"

"It's great because first I have a great mom and second I have a great family."

I swear he is the stink'n sweetest kid on the block. He is Carlos inside and out!

SAY WHAT?!?

Have I mentioned that Perry has the gift of song?

She loves to sing. She sings throughout the day, with or without music. She is the best singer in the car - she is the first to get the lyrics of a song down. Her speciality is Taylor Swift.

Anywho...we were doing a coloring activity for F.H.E. when she, in her mindless coloring, breaks into song. I'm listening to her - which is rare - I tune her out often, when I hear the words and tune she is singing. I start laughing hysterically. Paco looks over at me as I tell him to listen to what she is saying. She is singing the "12 Days of Christmas" except only the final four days, and except the words are totally jacked up.

Here's her version:

"Four Calling Birds
Three Friendships
Tuelling Galling Bird
And a Fart tree in the Pantry!"

It should be noted that she sang "I love to see the temple" word for word!

She's our Supa-Star!!!

...On Testosterone

Okay, guys I finally "get" it. My latest passion is for professional ice hockey. Oh goodness do I love the violence. The game is so fast-paced, the players all have attitudes...girls, you are not allowed to date/marry a hockey player. Definitely anger-management issues. But to watch...I adore it! It's great watching the players slam each other up against the glass walls, hearing the resonating thud...ah, love it!

So Carlos took me to another game the other night. Our previous one we took all the kids so our attention was very divided. This was nice though to just be with each other. Carlos was sporadically trash talk'n the players. We cheered for each point earned. But this was a date right? I kept snuggling up to Paco, getting cozy with my violent view. At one point he told me I was crowding him. I looked around. There were tons of families or couples enjoying the sport. Lots of them were dropping fowl words here and there while enjoying their frothy beers. This was a man's domain. And I was lov'n it. Finally, a sport that Paco and I could both enjoy together. We reached a pivotal plateau in our marriage!

So I know that Paco enjoyed the game with me, but I realized it wasn't like watching the game with his brother. I tried to back off the the physical cuddling and enjoy the violence. Which I did, mind you.

It reminded me of Mark's funeral. We were given V.I.P treatment by the military the entire weekend. Mark's fellow "brothers" stuck to us all like glue, taking care of our every need. Even anticipating our needs before they arose. One morning they invited my brothers to a training facility so they could watch them "clear" a house and get a sense of what they did on a daily basis. They made the mistake of extending this invite while the sisters were present.

Shay and I totally wanted to go. There was polite hesitation and reluctant consent. We were jazzed. That evening at our hotel dad delicately brought the matter up. He was very careful with his words and his tone. He knows what a time-bomb I can be. He pointed out that this demonstration was just for the guys only. I told him that they said we could come. Further explaining...this was painful for dad. He was really trying so hard with me.

He went on to say that this was just a male-thing. It was something that the guys understood and partook of and that it wasn't a place for Shay and I. I was dejected. Shay, Noel, and I didn't end up going. I was upset. I think my grief and wanting to be a part of Mark's life clouded the situation. My 3 brothers went and came back with stars in their eyes, dazed, and drunk with admiration. Dang it!!

But at our hockey game it reminded me of Virginia. There are some things intended only for men. It's their core identity as protectors, providers. Men have a baseness, a coarseness that has to be fulfilled as part of who they are. It's like women and gossip I guess.

This epiphany certainly won't keep me away from the rink. Oh mama, do I love ice hockey, but maybe I won't snuggle my husband AS MUCH to let his testosterone do it's thing.

he's done it again

look what my dad gave me at christmas. i will admit when you mix talent with money...the results are stunning. i absolutely L-O-V-E this iron urn he potted.

dad is all about the details. he stashed in some festive berries on the side and stuffed in fabulous moss to soften the presentation.

gorgeous, enough said right? we enjoyed four of these blooms. the kids loved to watch it grow and open up. they were quite taken with the process.

tah-dah, the finished masterpiece. unfortunately, the other stem got damaged in transport from missouri, otherwise we would have had twice the eye-candy. thanks, dad you are the best-est!

for amusements sake

i dunno, but just watching people play the wii is entertainment enough for me. the kids want me to buy the tennis racket attachment for the game. are you kidding? my ceiling light would be obliterated in no time!

bug's darling friend kamari. he is such a polite, well-mannered boy. and so stink'n cute too!

look at the concentration - and those faces - i really do love having blackmail photos. thank you wii, thank you.

Whistle While Wii Work

I had a couple of pictures I wanted Paco to hang. I kept bugg'n him, like a good wife does ya know. I finally caught him downstairs doing "nothing". He was playing Cristian a game of tennis on the Wii. He paused the game and came to perform his husbandly duty.

Um... he didn't even take off the controller.

Dang, multitasking is so hot on him.

My Mountain

Does this look familiar to any of you moms out there? Guess what I got to do the majority of today...Happy folding ya'll!

Death of Spiderman

Jen got Mason a spiderman costume a couple years ago on an after Halloween sale and he has been wearing it ever since. I think he actually wore it as his costume one Halloween. When the girls play dress-up with their dresses and tutus, Mason would often don the amazing spiderman costume. Yes...he would spin a web and try to climb the walls.

Well, it seems he's not the nostalgic type because this last Sunday, I was quite surprised when he very matter-of-factly came to me and said, "the zipper broke so I'm going to throw my spiderman costume in the garbage." 2 seconds later...viola, no more spiderman.

I think Jen was a bit sad to see the amazing spiderman part of Mason go 'in the garbage'.